luministi_logs | ♎ Trial of the Spirit ♏

♎ Trial of the Spirit ♏

Characters: Terezi & Vriska
Location: Luministi Greens East
Time: Before Ichijou's Message on the Network.
Summary: Following the news that the Proctor has kicked the bucket, Terezi decides it might be a good time to check up on Vriska, and maybe attempt to resolve the problems between them. Especially with good (yet fake) memories still fresh in their minds.
Warnings: Trolls. Unpredictability, swearing?

Like a true pro, Terezi didn't alert Vriska up on the CAT network or even call, just in case somehow it would have delved straight into a shouting match or an argument of some sort. Although, she had considered the fact the same thing could or was going to happen, even if she were to meet Vriska in person. But the thing about speaking to someone in person was that things tended to be slightly different. With that line of thought, she might be able to hold herself in check, and not say something she'd regret.

Over this entire time, she had mulled over everything that has been said, and every point of action or evidence available to her. There were possibilities in terms of timelines where Vriska could have come from. In the beginning, there were even more possibilities, but now that more time has passed, the possible timelines have shrunk down to a few. Even if she wasn't the same one she knew, however, she had two words in particular she needed to say, if she got the chance. Even if Vriska would laugh in her face and lord it over her in saying it.

She might even miss the point.

Regardless, Terezi had said that she would at least try. With all of this in mind, and some more, Terezi rapped loudly on the door. Even if technically she didn't know where Vriska lived, she had tried every other door, and received zero Spidertroll in return. So this had to be it.

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Terezi meant to say something, maybe like even an attempted rapidfire Wait, but not even that managed to escape her lips, and then the door was shut in front of her. She had a feeling that this might happen. Then, somewhere in her mind, something informed her to give up. That there was only one reason she would act this way, with all the evidence pointing to a single possibility. Hey, she did try, right? No one could say she didn't.

She sighed.

However, her feet were still rooted to the steps beneath them, not even moved an inch since. Terezi surmised that Vriska probably went upstairs to do whatever already. She muttered Vriska's name, but it might have been louder than that. Instead, she imagined that Vriska had stood there and hadn't closed the door. She said, "I didn't expect to meet you here of all places, but it happened, and...I-I missed you. I miss having those times, the best, with you."

Terezi's voice cracked here and there. Her hands clenched into fists, before they grasped an uncaptchalogued book. She could feel tears roll down her cheeks. She gasped, "But, I wanted to say that...I'm so s-sorry, Vriska, that I w--"

Terezi was pretty sure the rest of that was less incoherent, and hey someone could walk by to even see her talking--crying at the door like some weirdo.

The teal-blooded troll dropped the book on Vriska's doorstep. She would gain her bearings and leave, when her feet didn't feel like lead.

Vriska stood by the door, glaring at the smooth wood. She felt furious and irritated and hateful--and even a little sad, because sorry wasn't enough. And things couldn't go back to the way they had been once upon a time no matter how much anyone wished.

If this were before death--before the dream bubbles--she probably would have jumped on the chance to be friends again. Because Terezi had been her best friend, the one who'd understood her best. And she understood Terezi best, too.

"You'll try and try and try," she repeated bitterly. "And you'll see how hard it is. But at least I regretted my actions! But do you? You couldn't and wouldn't take it back. You can't. Too bad, but sorry ain't cutting it, 'sister.'"

The moment Terezi heard Vriska's voice, it made her mind snap to attention. So, she was still standing there after all, and these were words that she expected to hear in some fashion. Anyone else would be disappointed, but her main goal wasn't forgiveness. She wanted to try mending the bond broken on both sides, and then that was finally severed when Terezi killed Vriska. "Just because I can't...take back what I did, doesn't mean I don't regret it. Even if I told you 'I didn't want to do it, but I had to', it wouldn't change a thing."

She sniffled, wiping at her eyes, and then paused to pick up Ichijou's book. "...But not saying or trying to at all would make it worse. Right now, we're working towards a similar goal. I don't think being in the dark would help, especially when we're all supposed to be working together."

Terezi stepped closer to the door. "I promise I'll leave when you take this book."

Like hell she'd open the door.

"It wouldn't change a thing," Vriska easily agreed. "And your apology's the same. Worth fuck all and does jack shit!!!!!!!!"

She wanted to lash out, so she kicked the door. The rubber base of her red shoes dulled the sound a bit, but it was still sharp and loud enough to be heard from the other side. The decisive sound of a hammer punctuating the finality of a decision made in heartbreak and loneliness.

"Of course you're 'sorry'"--the word was twisted into something ugly-sounding, enclosure talons apparent--"but you're only 'sorry' for yourself. Let's be real here. If you're here to admit anything, why don't you try admitting that!"

When the door didn't open, Terezi couldn't help a sigh from escaping again. Her words were like daggers, even if she did expect them, and that made it no easier to hear it all. They only incurred more sadness from her, but she knew that the other girl's rage was justified. No matter the reasons she had for killing her, it was still the same thing in the end. "If I were sorry for only myself, wouldn't I just be wallowing in my regret all day long? Instead of trying to face what I have done? How can I make myself admit something like that, when it would be a lie?"

She gazed sadly at the door. "I don't think it would help, even if I did." Then she paused. "If you're not going to come out with me here, then I could just leave it here, and leave. If that's what you want."

Vriska knew she was being a hypocrite. (Or was it Terezi who was being a hypocrite?) She recalled all the times she'd been sorry and she had been sorry. She had. She was.

She'd never been sorry for completely--or even remotely--selfless reasons though, and she was angry that Terezi was sorry for selfish reasons, too. They were so damned similar.

"You say that like it's a good thing. People who try to act selfless are the most selfish ones of all," Vriska commented. She knew it too well. "See! Proving my point. Bluh bluh you haaaaaaaad to do it. That's your pitiful excuse. Poor little wannabe legislacerator, boo fucking hoo!!!!!!!!"

She started pacing in front of the door, restless with anger. "What I want is to not see your face! So yeah. Go."

Terezi stared at the door in front of her and knew if she just stood there that nothing would get done. She certainly knew if she had given her exact reasons why that there would just be more scorn and vitriol. There was already enough of that as it was, and some part of her undoubtedly wished fervently that it wouldn't be forever. There was one more that she needed to get out, but she hardly trusted her own voice. "...alright. Later, if it's possible, I still want us to work together. At least think it over, so we can get out of here quicker."

Straight after her words, Terezi left quickly and silently, as she knew Vriska would certainly have said some more with venom in her voice. She made sure to have left the book behind on the doorstep, and although she made the offer she wasn't expecting much in either sort of venue. It was still in the end, it was still Vriska's choice.

She could tell, like many nights, it would be another sleepless one. The teal-blooded troll would be much too busy thinking over their situation. But also thinking about how when she foresaw those possibilities as she confronted Vriska somehow only led to two choices for her to make. She still thought it was unfair, and wondered if it was all rigged anyhow, as the game certainly was. It would make sense, but it still wouldn't lift the regret from her heart. The sense that there had to have been another way only compounded it.

Even after her talk with Aranea, she still felt she could have done better. But the fact was, she hadn't.

Wait, her mind said. Her lips, however, were firmly pressed together in a stubborn line. She made dismissive noise, something between a scoff and a grunt, and backed away from the door. Good fucking riddance. She was better off without her.

But Terezi's words stayed with her, lingering like a pungent aftertaste, making her nose twitch and her lips curl. Vriska didn't need vision eightfold to see Terezi's departure through her door. She could envision it clearly in her mind—that small backside drawing farther and farther away from her.

She waited until Terezi was gone for sure and then opened her door. She glanced around just to double-check before her eyes dropped to the unfamiliar book.

"Huh? What the hell…….." She wasn't sure why Terezi wanted so badly to give her some random book, but as she started flipping through it, she realized exactly what it was. The conversation they'd had over it had been from months ago and yet—"Of course, she'd remember."

It was almost a compliment, so Vriska tagged on a couple of jabs. "Unnecessarily slow as always! It only took her forever to deliver this thing. It's practically useless now."

Vriska would read the thing in its entirety, of course. Despite her words, every little bit would only make them more prepared for what was coming. And oh, something was coming, alright. In addition to that, it'd be a good distraction. This was more important than her messed up fairy tale wishes. (Fakey fake and they'd never come true anyway.) She had to be serious about this. She was serious about this.

So she sat down crossed-legged on her bed and read until there was nothing else to read. Then she got out her CAT and sent the teal troll a curt message:

Ok.

Terezi's expectations for something to come of it weren't high, but they weren't non-existent either. However, it would mean that anything that would ended up made Terezi almost wonder if she were dreaming. Then again, she concluded that it was likely even in Vriska's current state, that she came to the conclusion that even if she worked with her it did indeed involve their departure from here faster. Not that it was because some sense of--

Terezi shook her head, before she held it in one hand, and sighed. She knew that it was going to be this difficult, so she reasoned that anything at all that she got was something. There was no need to allow her emotions cloud her judgment. Just like when she--

The blind troll mentally tries to put her foot down, even if she knew that the thought was already about her forceful dispatchment of her forme--the other troll. She just needed to, just needed to...

She sighed. She figured she should at least let her know she received it.

GOOD
1LL S33 YOU 4ROUND TH3N

Then, Terezi resumed to sit there and review every single event that occurred in her mind. For one reason, to possibly find an early clue, and another to keep her thoughts off other things.

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♎ Trial of the Spirit ♏

not gr34t on3s??

no one ever makes gr8 decisions at 4 AM!!

s4dly no >:'[

so88u

dont cr41. u should l4ugh

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:|a hope this is good.

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